OK, here's the thing: I am very intelligent, which allows me to see more than the average person. But I also have high emotional intelligence and am thus sensitive, like a fine-tuned instrument, which means the more that I see can be very unpleasant. This can be countered with a strong upside in life. That having been pretty much missing most of my life so far resulted in increasing burnout, eventually leading to depressive tendencies.

So this is almost entirely caused situationally and the usual base influences that contributed to it make connecting to an empowering path and applying my talents in a meaningful and thus sustainable (non-draining) way very challenging. - Unapplied human potential is a great tragedy and the world is in dire need of impulses that build a better future so that the current situation doesn't drag everyone down to the status quo. Time is running out.

Had I not gotten stuck in an environment that is pretty much adverse to who I am, I could have applied myself marvelously. But at this point I know I still need to get into a better environment so that not my every effort is inefficient to the point of futility, which could mean as little as just being by myself (which might be preferrable for developing my full potential at first through restoring some meditative inner calm and creating better access to the 'deep well'). And that needs to be sustainable and not kill the effort with quick resource drain. If you know a humble, clean, dignified place away from the madness, please contact me. It is a crucial first step. It would be a very rewarding sponsoring.

I have learned information technology, but the craft wasn't exactly ideal; too much mind-heart imbalance, at least back then. My strength lies in combining left and right brain, so either extreme might not work so well. I have many practiced and potential qualifications, and while I might be lacking the detail knowledge of craft skills, I bring my smarts, my basic character qualities as a good basis. (You can have someone know all the procedures and how to use them and still make a stupid mistake due to lack of thoughtfulness and really living the profession.) Without establishing a hope-instilling motivation first, it is hard for me to do the heavy mind work of learning a new complex field with detailed procedures, especially if the usefulness of the approach is uncertain. I need a minimum balancing first to be able to learn even more, in the form of applying the fruits of my past efforts.

Consider me a race car: It needs high octane fuel to not suffer damage (or at least to not underperform) but is built to win races. I really just need to restore some balance between give and take, because due to my emotional intelligence I tendentially focused too much on the common good instead of my personal nourishment, and sadly the two don't intersect often. Would have been great if that approach had worked, but I wasn't that lucky.

Donations or other means of substantial support will restore balance and bring the efficiency of my efforts from atrocious to phenomenal. No amount is too small or too great, and the gesture itself already carries great power. And as mentioned, if you got a job that calls for a smart and/or wise approach or if you got a place where I can heal from this situation, contact me and everybody will benefit.

Thank you for your time and - if it shall be so - appreciation.